I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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