C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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