Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize