who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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