yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
