so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
