I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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