I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
