he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
