YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You pole danced in your parka.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
