You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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