you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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