I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
