If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
