are you still at the devil's house?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
