it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
