You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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