dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
