id be glad to
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
