I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
