i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
