I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
