His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I understand Curling. That high.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
