I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
