And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
