My brain says no but my pants say off.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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