bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dick very happy bro
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
