So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
