The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
