3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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