My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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