Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
