using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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