dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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