It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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