I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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