Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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