im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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