She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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