Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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