Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
