whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
