Jerry, you need to find god
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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