He is an equal opportunity slut.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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