I wanna passion pit in your ass
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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