She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
No stitches, just platelets and will power
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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