did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
