i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
