But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
