: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
